In Confucius's view, a person of integrity should be careful and measured in speech, and should not make promises to others lightly. To promise what one cannot deliver is very likely to forfeit others' trust and undermine one's own standing. "A gentleman's word, once spoken, cannot be overtaken by a team of four horses" — this saying captures precisely the importance of keeping one's word and meaning what one says. In this regard, Fan Shi of the Eastern Han dynasty stands as a model for all. In his youth, Fan Shi and Zhang Shao studied together in Luoyang. When their studies were complete and they prepared to return to their respective homes, the two parted with great reluctance, for they had grown very close. Fan Shi said to Zhang Shao: "Brother, two years from today I will come to your home to pay my respects to your parents and reunite with you." The two years passed quickly, and as the appointed day drew near, Zhang Shao asked his mother to prepare food and wine in readiness to welcome Fan Shi with warm hospitality. His mother tried to dissuade him, saying: "Shanyang County is over a thousand li from here, and so much time has passed — he may not come." But Zhang Shao replied with certainty: "Fan Shi is a man of the utmost integrity. He will surely come." Seeing her son's unwavering trust in his friend, the mother went ahead with the preparations. On the very day they had appointed, Fan Shi arrived right on time, faithful to the promise made two years before. The friendship between Fan Shi and Zhang Shao, and the spirit of trust and faithfulness it embodied, won the admiration of many. Confucius held that honesty and trustworthiness could win a person good relationships and help him toward success. The ability to honor one's promises is, above all else, the measure of whether a person can be trusted. When people make a promise, they often feel a kind of indebtedness to the one they have promised. Therefore, when you are about to commit to something for another person, you must think carefully before you speak. If you make no promise, the other person harbors no hope, waits for nothing in vain, and suffers no disappointment. But once a promise is made, it is like planting a seed of hope in the other person's heart — they begin to count on you to help their wish come true. If you deliver, all is well and good. But if you fail them, you deal them the most direct of blows; they may come to doubt you and never trust you again. In truth, many times it is not that we lack the chance or the ability to follow through — it is simply that we have not taken our own words seriously, and have not put our hearts into keeping them. This habit of making promises lightly and keeping them poorly is one of the gravest faults in human conduct. Therefore, in the days ahead, do not make promises to others carelessly — even for things within your power, do not agree on the spot, but always leave yourself some room to maneuver. Of course, leaving room for oneself is not an excuse for lack of effort; it simply acknowledges that the course of events is not always within human control. To promise rashly is to place added difficulty on your own path; and if in the end you cannot deliver, you will lose the trust of others and earn the name of a person whose word means nothing. In any case — whether one promises and fails to act, or makes a vow and proves unable to keep it — both are matters of deep shame.